Judging from the name of this blog, you wouldn't expect it to be a sex advice place, hey? This idea came to me as I laid in bed with my man, after not knowing how to perform a blowjob, about 4 years ago. He was mad at me (he was a bitch). Years later, after being not knowing how to ride my guy, and him trying patiently until he was soft to teach me (he was not a bitch), this idea popped into my head again. There was nothing online that I could find that aren't stuff like, "how to spice up your sex life" etc. What I wanted was a safe place for young people to learn how to do this stuff, so that they can be as comfortable as possible when trying it for the first time, whenever that is. An incredibly important part of this blog, that I must point out now, I am not here encouraging teenagers to have sex, just to help them once they have come to that decision by themselves.
So, who even am I? Well, I'm an 18 year old girl, living in Canada and attending university here. I am currently in a seriousish relationship with a very nice man ( who is 21 if you care) although he is not my boyfriend, yet. Currently our relationship is sex and just plain hanging out, name that what you will. I lost my virginity at age 14, took nearly 4 years off sex, and got into again when I moved to university. I'm straight, and have only ever had straight sex, so that's the only thing I can speak about here, but if any of you have questions regarding other kids of sex, I can 100% try and find out for you. I'm incredibly open minded as well as very nonjudgmental, so fire away with your questions. If I get enough, I'll likely do a weekly Q&A on here, and answer as many as possible.
So, a few statements I have to make before we start.
1) I don't believe that 'virginity' is a big deal, so it will not be treated as such on this blog. I don't think its a huge, important gift that people (mostly women) should keep for marriage. If that's how you feel though, all power to you.
2) I want this blog to be a safe space, I want to be able to speak about anything at all, so no abuse will be tolerated.
3) As a female, I can really only give advice from the fem point of view, but boys, I will try to help you too. I can ask my dude for you.
4) I will try and post as often as I can, but as a uni student, it probably won't be daily.
5) If you have questions you want answering, I will try my best to answer them. I am, however, not a professional. I'm just a girl who wants to help all of you. I say this, because I might not be able to answer all your questions. I, of course, will try my best to gather information from various people, but, that being said, there will be things I can't answer. I will leave a link to a tubmlr, where you can leave your questions anonymously,as well as my Instagram, and email address, so that hopefully all you readers have a place to ask me things. Let me know if you don't have any of these ways, and I'll figure something out.
6) As stated above, I am an advocate for having sex when you want to, not when you feel like you have to. Read this blog whether or not you're sexually active, but don't ever feel like you have to engage in anything you don't wish to. Keep yourself to yourself if you want, give yourself to everyone if you want.
7) I want all of you to be safe, so please please please practice safe sex. Condoms, birth control, pullouts (not recommended), and abstinence are all available to you, I'm sure. No babies unless ya want them, and especially no STIS.
8) Your questions will always be anonymous, even if you don't mind if they are or not. It's just best this way.
9) Most of my advice will be from a fem and straight point of view, meaning I will say stuff like, "once you've found the man you want." etc.I'm all inclusive, and I will try to switch it up sometimes, I just think sticking with the same pronouns throughout will keep it easy, as well as make it easier to keep in line in my head. Please don't be offended by my choice of words, and don't ever think you can't try all of these things with any partner you choose.
So, enough gobble about me and the blog, time to get to sex right? Okay, let's go. Today will be advice on how to initiate sexual relationships, how to navigate them, and how to get your bodies ready for the actual act, how to have sex in missionary, and a bit about contraception.
Okay so once you've found a boy you want to sleep with, whether it's your long time boyfriend or a one night stand/hookup (these are not recommended if you're a virgin, find someone to take care of you and who has your best interests at heart for your first time.)the best thing to do is have an honest face to face conversation. It will most definitely be awkward to bring up, and you might get shot down, but it's honestly the best way. Say something along the lines of, "I've been thinking lately, and I want to have sex with you." Don't say "I think" or anything like that. Make sure you're honest, and upfront. Don't let it be taken as anything else, for example if you said, "I want to do stuff with you." That leaves room for imagination, stuff could be making out right? Once your partner has said yes, and actively given consent, the first step is usually to start kissing. Kissing is great, although not all that important, from my experience it really turns people on though. Once you feel comfortable, you can start taking off your clothes. Do this one article at a time, at the same pace as your partner. If they take of their shirt, take yours off. Don't get 100% butt naked while they are still fully dressed, because that leaves you very vulnerable while they still have lots of power.
Once you're naked and kissing, try playing with him a bit. Grab his penis firmly, but not tightly, and pump it. Move your hand up and down. This will get him pretty hard, if he isn't already. Guys, play with her nipples with your thumbs, hands, or the best is with your tongue/mouth. Sort of swirl your tongue around the nipple, and feel it get hard in to your touch. You're both pretty horny by now, so guys (or ladies, whomever) lean down, maybe spider touch (light, gentle touches) down her body, over her stomach and down to her clit. This will be at the top of her vagina, it's kind of a little penis, and will be a small ish bump of skin. This is the clitoral hood, and you'll need to get between the 'flaps' to find the clit. Run circles around it, or stroke up and down, whatever makes her moan. Remember, some women can't handle their clit being touched directly. If she pulls away or something, stop right away and ask, she'll tell you. Ladies, you can now give your boy a blowjob. These are intimidating, and actually one of the last things I felt comfortable doing. Basically, the head of a penis is incredibly sensitive, the most sensitve part of the penis actually. Put your mouth round it, basically like you would a popsicle. Swirl your tongue around the head (which is the top of the penis), ask him what feels good, he'll tell you. Then guys, slide your finger from her clit, into her vagina, bend your fingers up a bit, and slide them in and out, but not too far out, and not too fast unless she asks for it. This is going to get her wet, which is incredibly important. Once she's wet enough, slide in. You should get in pretty easily, if not try going down on her. Put your tongue into her vagina and run it over her clit, suck on it even. Get her more wet, by any means.This is not in any order, so mix it up a bit if you want!
Okay, so you're in. Now what? Guys you want to go slowly off the start, make sure she gets used to it. Before you start thrusting, just stay still inside her so she can get used to this feeling. Once she's ready, thrust into her, slowly and gently. Girl, you want to lift your hips a bit to meet his thrust. Voila, you're having sex in missionary. Good for you! Change speed and how hard you thrust depending on what you both like.
Once you have sex with someone, it changes your relationship. Now you've seen each other completely naked, and given each other pleasure one cannot describe. It makes you very vulnerable to each other. Don't make it awkward, continue to have the conversations you had, etc. Sex should make you closer, not ruin your relationship. Don't think about the act or the experience when with your parents or friends because then you'll feel awkward. Don't have sex again until you feel 100% comfortable with each other, and the actual act.
Other than the actual fingering etc to get your body ready for sex, there's other things you can do as a woman. You can shave, if you want. To be honest, most boys expect a cleanly shaved woman, legs, armpits, and groin area. If you don't want to do this don't. Boys can also shave their balls, and pubic area. Speak with your partner about it. Step two, ladies is to put on clean, nice underwear. Something that flatters your body. Your hair will get messed up and knotty in missionary, so bring a hairbrush.
Now a word about contraception, use it. Condoms are probably the most accessible, so those are probably your best bet. You can do the pullout method, although it's not recommended, since inexperienced men might not know exactly when they're going to finish. Birth control of many options are available, but you do need to go to the doctors for this. It's easy enough to get, it just might be an awkward conversation to have with your parents, as well as being expensive, if it's not covered under your insurance.
I hope to see you soon, thank you for reading, and I hope this helped.
xoxo
*For your questions*
https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ninicouscollouscus
lynchlovermadame@gmail.com
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